Working With Men -

SLEEC has wanted to work with men from the beginning.

There is often a clear separation between work with and by men, and work with and by survivors. This division is part of the reason, as a society, we fail to fully understand each other’s experiences.

As survivors of rape and male violence, we have always strongly believed there needs to be spaces where we are working in solidarity with men, to understand each other’s relationship to sexism, patriarchy, rape culture, masculinity and male violence.

We had been building ideas for how to make this space possible for many years, finally curating our first online course for men, in 2021; Dismantling Male Violence and Rape Culture: A Survivor-Led Course For Men.

Holding a space where survivors of rape and male violence work with men, facilitate a learning space and build a new community is both powerful and vital in this work.

We have since evolved our work to include different projects that work directly with men.

Current ways to get involved as a man:

Unlearning and Action space

Our monthly online men’s sessions are a space for men, and nb people socialised as men, to explore and unpack their relationship to patriarchy, sexism, rape culture, male violence and masculinity.

This is a space to gain insight and knowledge, to ask questions, to share personal experiences and find real ways to take action. We sometimes have speakers with specific expertise and experience to facilitate part of the space.

Past sessions have included conversations on ‘sex, dating and relationships’, ‘consent and boundaries’, ‘how to actively challenge misogynistic behaviour in men’, ‘the impact of patriarchy on men’, and ‘how to start and hold difficult conversations about male violence’ and included speakers such as Lewis Wedlock.

Structurally, the space is a mix of discussion, reflective work and unpacking experiences and harmful behaviours.

SIGN UP FOR OUR NEXT SESSIONS HERE:

25th SEPT | 22nd OCT | 14th NOV | 9th DEC

This space is free for those who need, with an option to make a donation to SLEEC for those who can (Donations are directly split between our Resilience Fund and our Unrestricted funds that pays for things like speakers).

Our Emergency Men’s Learning Courses: Dismantling Male Violence and Rape Culture

We run our courses regularly throughout the year.

In our courses we hold discussions, learn and challenge each other from a place of compassion, trust, humility and openness, and where we can feel safe to be honest and vulnerable with each other. These are the kind of spaces we need more of.

The course is shaped to give men the tools and knowledge to understand, unlearn and actively challenge rape culture, male violence and misogyny, while also creating a space to unpack their own internalised patriarchy and the impact of sexism on themselves.

We want it to be a place where men can ask difficult questions that they may not have felt comfortable asking elsewhere, to those who have direct lived-experience of rape and sexual violence. This kind of deep connection breaks down barriers that block real understanding of complex experiences.

We have continued to redevelop and run these courses over the past two years delivering both in-person courses and online. They are structured to empower people to access deep learning and work.

From the courses we have built a growing community of men who continue to hold conversations, learn and work alongside us.

SIGN UP TO OUR WAITING LIST FOR THE NEXT ONLINE COURSE

CONTACT US TO REQUEST OUR COURSE DELIVERY FOR YOUR ORGANISATION/GROUP

MORE ABOUT THE COURSE

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1-1 Learning support

We offer 1-1 learning support for individuals who want to learn, explore and unpack their relationship to patriarchy, sexism, masculinity, male violence and rape culture. Similar to our Action and Unlearning Space that we facilitate as group work, this is an opportunity to engage with this work in a more personalised, intimate and concentrated way.

We can work with you on a range of different subjects, experiences and issues, in ways that centre your specific style of learning and experiences. You can have one off, single session support, as and when or a series of personalised, tailored sessions and discussions to explore the subjects you need or want to (un)learn and that matters most to you.

We will discuss with you what particular focus you want to address, how you work best in terms of structure and approach and explore any access needs you may have within learning.

Past 1-1 sessions have included ‘how to challenge harmful/sexist behaviour and language used by male friends without damaging the friendship’ (specific to the individual’s experience), ‘understanding and re-learning consent and boundaries’, ‘exploring personal relationships to growing up under patriarchy and the impact on ideals and behaviours towards women and femmes’.

One off sessions are £60 / for a series of three or more £50 a session. Facilitated by Bryony Ball and Meggan Baker.

1-1 Accountability Work

Our 1-1 accountability work is for individuals who have caused harm and/or violence (historically or recently) and want support within this accountability process.

We offer a confidential, personalised space for you to begin exploring the harm you’ve caused and the impact of this harm. We will explore and unpack where this behaviour came from, your feelings, what personal and external factors were at play and prioritise the action that is necessary to change your behaviour that centres healing and ownership.

This is an opportunity to be challenged and supported in a productive, honest and compassionate way.

We work from a place that we have all internalised the harmful structures we have lived under and been socialised in. While we acknowledge this, this cannot absolve us of self responsibility and accountability when we have caused harm or violence.

Please note, we cannot do this work in one session. In order for an accountability process to fully take shape and be beneficial, we need a commitment of at least 8 sessions.

Each session costs £130. Every session you will have two facilitators (who have lived-experience of male violence and sexual violence) working with you.

Accountability processes in organisations

We can work with you to explore and implement your organisation’s own accountability process tailored to your needs and ways of operating. We will work with you in an holistic, trauma informed way to explore how an accountability process/structure would work within your organisation that enables a safer, more equitable working environment.

We have been commissioned by various pubs and nighttime venues to work directly in holding customers, clients and staff/security accountable in ways that minimises further harm and changes individual and collective behaviour.

Through feedback from one pub we worked with, the impact of having an accountability process that centres harm reduction within a nighttime venue, has meant deeper trust from their community and customers and in turn, an uptake in business.

“SLEEC was a game-changer for managing rape culture and harassment in our pub. They introduced thorough, inbuilt systems and provided 1-on-1 accountability programs for those who had caused harm. The support we received was incredible—professional, comprehensive, and backed by real expertise. Their approach was both hands-on and effective, helping us create a safer environment for everyone. We couldn’t have asked for better support.” – Tom Quarelle, Pub Landlord The Plough, Bristol and Project Founder of Collective Yes

Consultancy

For consultations on projects, work or structures within your organisation, we can provide a broad range of support, advice and action points based on your individual needs.

We have consulted with a broad spectrum of different organisations, businesses, institutions, projects and charities; from marketing agencies and corporates to independent artists and community based collectives. Needs and requirements vary from organisation, but our experience-led expertise and perspective is central to the ways we consult that transfer across all organisation types and structures.

Areas we can consult with you on are expansive as well as personal to your organisation or business. This might look like (but not limited to) setting up or revising your organisations sexual harassment/anti-sexism policies, exploring how to centre/prioritise lived experience in campaigns or projects, supporting with ideas and approaches on media campaigns/branding, programming events, supporting you to safety plan for your spaces or events or developing new structures of working that centre harm reduction.

Speaking at events

We are available to speak at a range of different events, including but not limited to, festivals, workshops, panel discussions, community events, podcasts.

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Research with men

Dismantling the roots of male violence and rape culture means understanding on a deep level why it exists.

It’s important to see different perspectives and experiences and hear from those that perpetrate harm, violence or uphold rape culture.

We need to be unafraid to explore things that are intrinsically linked such as power, privilege and entitlement. We need to discuss how different oppressions and experiences intersect.

SLEEC wants to conduct a body of research with men to understand why male violence is so prevalent, how we prevent it and how we manage collective accountability.

We had our first research discussion with men in 2022, where we focused on what community accountability and alternative justice could look like for those who caused harm. We have since been holding talks and gathering stories and experiences.

We currently have a comprehensive survey that we want to try and get as many men to contribute to as possible.

Call out to men:

We urgently need volunteers to help engage men in completing our survey. This could look like speaking to men you know, flyering, putting up posters in public spaces or directly contacting men/organisations. This is a crucial way to take action and support our research.

If you can help, please get in touch asap—your contribution is essential.

Email: sleec.research@gmail.com

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Upcoming Projects:

We are currently in the beginning stages of developing a very exciting piece of work around accountability and working directly with perpetrators/ex offenders of harm who have been incarcerated – Funded by the Allen Lane Foundation.

We are in the beginning stages of developing more programmes for men in collaboration with Lewis Wedlock from Mendable.

Watch this space.